Pilates can help us with our big and dark stuff..

There have been a few occasions where I have literally fallen (backwards off a broken chair, is one that springs to mind) and I have been grateful for the Pilates in my body that has enabled me to catch my balance, my strength, my flexibility and save me from injury. There is no doubt how Pilates shapes and strengthens my structure and assists me in the world.. physically.

What is less obvious, but equally as powerful, is that Pilates is helping me with my inner “falling”… helping me deal with big emotions, stress and anxiety..

During Lockdown, although the situation was terribly bleak and sad outside, I felt quite stoical and optimistic - This too shall pass - inside. It was important to stay healthy ourselves, and prevent the spread to others and although a bit anxious, I concentrated on the online aspect of my business, and it felt good helping people with Pilates, over the internet.

I reconnected to my Pilates Mat practice and was grateful to be safe and on an even keel. Locked away and protected - physically and emotionally.

Then, whilst traversing the “phasing out” from the state of alarm over the last month or so, I have felt more emotional than ever -The after shock proving more powerful that the initial tremor that shook our world. Getting back “out there” was scary. Still is. I am not comfy “out there”..

My inner compass gyrating out of control and Pilates helped find my bearings..

And then..

..the massive and essential rising up for racial equality in the face of a brutal and discriminatory white society, that is still marginalising, and shamefully murdering people, and shamefully allowing the murder of people, because of their skin colour. I’ve been writing and deleting for hours because I don’t know how to address this.. I need to say something and apologies if I get it wrong…It’s devastating and I feel awful, but this isn’t about how I feel.

It’s about Black lives matter and making it the truth that it should always have been, today and forever.

We have allowed racial inequality to persist, and now we have to confront our own racism and part in it all. Not being outwardly racist does not make you anti racist, and anti racism doesn’t mean you have to be free from racism. We have a lot of active work to do - inwardly and outwardly.

I saw this.. “ I understand I will never understand but I stand with you” and this is a start, as I dig deep and face my own bias and racism, that I didn’t know I had, from my place of white privilege, white culture, oblivious, or turning a blind eye, if Im honest, to the horrendous inequality we have been complicit in fostering.

It’s super confronting and I am sorry. I am now listening and learning and I’m committing to anti-racism wherever I find it including in myself.

Pilates is not going to help cure the worlds injustices but it can help you navigate your inner world and the big and dark emotions of the times. Through mindful movement and connecting to your heart you can make new choices and be the person you want to be in this world. A person who cares about oppression, injustice, inequality and somebody that makes a difference.

Pilates is helping me by connecting me to the inner knowing we all have, and pulling forth the courage I need. It helps me navigate my big emotions and the hooks and stories I tell myself to avoid pain.

From the way we breathe in Pilates, and the way we concentrate and focus on deliberate movement from a place of ease, and not force, helps the vagus nerve tone, which brings us back from fight or flight mode.

Super important not to live from a place where cortisol and adrenaline are running the show.

The breath obviously re-oxygenates the blood, and the conscious breath patterns of Pilates improves the capacity of the lungs and the functionality of the respiratory system. When we can control our breath we can control our lives and this will help us tremendously, step up with confidence.

“As a heavy rainstorm freshens the water of a sluggish or stagnant stream, so does the Pilates method purify the bloodstream.” - Joseph Pilates

Pilates also stimulates the abdominals, and the area around the naval which is sometimes referred to third energy centre (chakra) and it is believed that this is where we hold our emotions. Some Pilates exercises move energy around this area making emotional shifts.

When we connect to our hearts and emotions to movement, we strengthen the ability process our emotions and relieve stress and tension.

Moving our bodies with Pilates also has great benefits to the circulatory system moving the blood around our bodies and raising the heart rate and lowering blood pressure.

Pilates isn’t considered spiritual practice of itself with history of the ancients, but with focus, concentration and beautiful fluidity of movement that connects me to my internal world, Pilates for me, is a spiritual practice that helps me catch me when I’m “falling”, and hopefully a better person each and every day.

“Every moment of our life can be the beginning of great things.”

- Joseph Pilates

Thank you for reading..

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Great News - If your friends are fab then you probably are too.

I have great news for you if, at this time of year, your “New Year New Me” plans and goals - Oh so shiny a month ago - have blurred and gone out of focus.

The “Old You” is just fine!! - Oh yes she is! You just need to believe in her and be kind to her. No need to change - She’s fab - Just look at your friends.

The feather bird, the man by his friends is known..…Hungarian Proverb

The women in this picture with me have been my friends for more than 20 years, through the ups and downs, the laughter and the tears.. We’ve shared it all. They have seen me at my worst and at my best. I love them to bits and I feel so blessed to have them.

Last weekend they came to visit me in Barcelona and I didn’t stop laughing and we had an absolute ball. They are diamonds every single one of them…. Could I so different from these amazing warm, kind, accepting, talented, humorous, generous women?

We are so hard on ourselves sometimes, and think we should be different, or do things differently or be better, always striving and producing to get validation that we are enough?

It was so natural, warming and comforting to be connected to times gone by and to the “Old Me”, and be reminded that who I was, is who I am still. That I am accepted and loved for who I am, and have always been.  I haven’t changed… and neither have my girls.

I think I thought I had changed as, when I first knew them all, in our early 20s, I was a bit of a loose cannon and very unsure of myself and my place in the world, I was lost, anxious and insecure. 

I thought it was a freak accident I had such fabulous friends.

I feel I have it a bit more together now, am more grounded, in control, responsible and all the grown up things.  Now I am fit and healthy, married with a daughter, invested and successful in my business, with my own little Pilates studio in Barcelona, teaching Pilates Reformer classes - I am officially living My Dream, it’s true - Yay!

This seems a long way away from the girl with Bulimia that drank too much wine, had a string crumby jobs and did not believe in herself.

But whilst I have been on a massive inner journey to find self love, worthiness and all the good stuff, I am delighted to be reminded that, despite being anxious and irresponsible in the past, I always was kind and warm, committed and accepting, and brave and had faith in the universe, if not myself. My friends are reflection of this as they share similar qualities and more.

Essentially the same qualities helped me beat bulimia, mother my daughter, work with my Pilates clients and turned my life into a life I love living.

My friend’s strong qualities and love and respect for each other, are why our friendships have stood the test of time, and why my newer friends are also magnificent women that I adore.

The essence of us stays the same and while we can change our behaviour, our approach and our circumstances we don’t really change what is in our heart. And the people we love connect with us through our hearts. So people who love you for who you are, always do.

Look around at your friends and you will see who you are..

This doesn’t mean not to try and be a better version of yourself, or to not go for what you want. There is nothing wrong with making big changes in your life, indeed we must, but doing them from a place of integrity with who you are is what leads to successful and sustainable change.

It has to fit in with you or it wont work. I think sometimes we make the mistake of thinking that we need to be different to get to where we want to go.

You are enough already, and what you want and how you want to be is already a part of you - or you wouldn’t want it.

When I think about it, my business, my Reformer Pilates classes and my teaching style are all about acceptance, kindness, commitment, showing up, courage. So there is a lot to be said in staying true to yourself as you follow your dreams, and I practice what I preach.

So out with the New Me and in with the Old and here’s to good friends, good times, celebration of life, being kind to yourself, and love.. and being the best version of ourselves whatever that is today.

P.S. Of course, I still love wine

Love laura X