I have great news for you if, at this time of year, your “New Year New Me” plans and goals - Oh so shiny a month ago - have blurred and gone out of focus.
The “Old You” is just fine!! - Oh yes she is! You just need to believe in her and be kind to her. No need to change - She’s fab - Just look at your friends.
The feather bird, the man by his friends is known..…Hungarian Proverb
The women in this picture with me have been my friends for more than 20 years, through the ups and downs, the laughter and the tears.. We’ve shared it all. They have seen me at my worst and at my best. I love them to bits and I feel so blessed to have them.
Last weekend they came to visit me in Barcelona and I didn’t stop laughing and we had an absolute ball. They are diamonds every single one of them…. Could I so different from these amazing warm, kind, accepting, talented, humorous, generous women?
We are so hard on ourselves sometimes, and think we should be different, or do things differently or be better, always striving and producing to get validation that we are enough?
It was so natural, warming and comforting to be connected to times gone by and to the “Old Me”, and be reminded that who I was, is who I am still. That I am accepted and loved for who I am, and have always been. I haven’t changed… and neither have my girls.
I think I thought I had changed as, when I first knew them all, in our early 20s, I was a bit of a loose cannon and very unsure of myself and my place in the world, I was lost, anxious and insecure.
I thought it was a freak accident I had such fabulous friends.
I feel I have it a bit more together now, am more grounded, in control, responsible and all the grown up things. Now I am fit and healthy, married with a daughter, invested and successful in my business, with my own little Pilates studio in Barcelona, teaching Pilates Reformer classes - I am officially living My Dream, it’s true - Yay!
This seems a long way away from the girl with Bulimia that drank too much wine, had a string crumby jobs and did not believe in herself.
But whilst I have been on a massive inner journey to find self love, worthiness and all the good stuff, I am delighted to be reminded that, despite being anxious and irresponsible in the past, I always was kind and warm, committed and accepting, and brave and had faith in the universe, if not myself. My friends are reflection of this as they share similar qualities and more.
Essentially the same qualities helped me beat bulimia, mother my daughter, work with my Pilates clients and turned my life into a life I love living.
My friend’s strong qualities and love and respect for each other, are why our friendships have stood the test of time, and why my newer friends are also magnificent women that I adore.
The essence of us stays the same and while we can change our behaviour, our approach and our circumstances we don’t really change what is in our heart. And the people we love connect with us through our hearts. So people who love you for who you are, always do.
Look around at your friends and you will see who you are..
This doesn’t mean not to try and be a better version of yourself, or to not go for what you want. There is nothing wrong with making big changes in your life, indeed we must, but doing them from a place of integrity with who you are is what leads to successful and sustainable change.
It has to fit in with you or it wont work. I think sometimes we make the mistake of thinking that we need to be different to get to where we want to go.
You are enough already, and what you want and how you want to be is already a part of you - or you wouldn’t want it.
When I think about it, my business, my Reformer Pilates classes and my teaching style are all about acceptance, kindness, commitment, showing up, courage. So there is a lot to be said in staying true to yourself as you follow your dreams, and I practice what I preach.
So out with the New Me and in with the Old and here’s to good friends, good times, celebration of life, being kind to yourself, and love.. and being the best version of ourselves whatever that is today.
P.S. Of course, I still love wine
Love laura X
